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You've definitely heard of foot fetishes and bondage. But, there's basically a bottomless well of things that turn people on. But what exactly are fetishes and sexual kinks? And why do people have them?
Sex therapist, Kelifern Pomeranz, PsyD, says that all fetishes are kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes. According to Justin Lehmiller, Ph. A person might see a particular stimulus—like, say, a boot—while they're sexually aroused, and eventually come to associate arousal with boots.
Or, Lehmiller says, grouping an object or body part together with orgasm might prompt a person to seek out that same object or body part in the future because the brain expects the same reward. Orgasms, of course, floods the brain with dopamine, the neurotransmitter that regulates motivation and pleasure. Fetishes get stigmatized because they're reasonably rare, there's a lot of freaky fetishes shame in our culture, and because they often involve impulses that puzzle the masses: Bees all over your genitals? Unbounded attraction to vomit?
But the brain wants what it wants. Pomeranz recommends setting aside time to talk about it. Share articles, videos, books, and information from sex researchers, academics, educators, and therapists normalizing and supporting your interest. Exploring any type of sexual kink or fetish will always require consent and patience. Carole Queen, Ph. She warns, however, that it should be practiced with caution as any kind of bondage that is too tight is not only uncomfortable, but can cause permanent nerve damage. To make sure you're practicing bondage safely, it's best to school yourself on best practices and most importantly set boundaries to ensure the safety of all those involved in the practice.
One common practice is the use of a safe word, which als that the bondage needs to end immediately. In this activity, partners will role play and act as if they are different ages than what they actually are. Age play can also be categorized as a form of dominance and submission play, where the partner playing the younger person is often the submissive. This isn't to be confused with autonepiophilia, where the person gets freaky fetishes pleasure from dressing up or acting as a baby, not necessarily the act of role playing as someone of a different age—more on that in a bit.
Quirofilia can also be known as a hand fetish. And since any eroticization of a specific part of the body is often referred to as partialism, quirofilia is sometimes referred to as hand partialism. A person into quirofilia is especially drawn to fingers and hands. Queen says that this fetish really isn't too surprising, since hands are such ificant sexual tools.
If you have a hand fetish and want to explore it with your partner, you should talk to them about ways you can introduce it into your sex life, maybe as a form of foreplay. A foot fetish means you're sexually aroused by feet, also referred to as foot partialism. People with foot fetishes freaky fetishes be attracted to seeing feet in certain footwear such as high heels, they might enjoy interactions with feet including massaging or toe-sucking, while some prefer embellishments on the feet such as a fresh pedicure or a tattoo.
In certain cases, a person may appreciate the feet more than the person they're attached to, says Queen, but [feet] should really be looked at as an added source of a turn-on, not a substitute for a real connection with another person.
Somnophilia, sometimes referred to freaky fetishes sleeping beauty syndrome, is defined as getting arousal from a person who is seemingly asleep or unconscious. This kind of fetish also involves an exchange of freaky fetishes, where the person awake is in a dominant position. However, it should always be approached with consent, as should all sexual kinks and fetishes, says McDevitt.
Everyone should be sober. Everyone should know what to expect, and trust that acting on these kinks can be stopped anytime, for any reason. A fascination with mirrors, or more specifically, watching yourself in sexual situations is known as katoptronphilia. In other words, katoptronphilia essentially means you enjoy having sex in front of a mirror.
To bring katoptonphilia into your bedroom, make sure you have your partner's consent and be sure to be strategic about where you place your mirrors, so you can catch the best glimpses of yourself. Like many, this practice is often portrayed in porn, but Queen says it's important that porn isn't your only guide to new activity.
There is [however] a small but ificant genre of what I call 'ex-ed,' explicit educational movies. Electrostimulation can be considered a subset of sensation play. It involves creating arousal through a sensation of electric shock. This is different from vibration and can get fairly intense-feeling. Most are below-the-waist only because it's important to keep electricity away from the heart," says Queen.
It is important to learn the ropes of this kind of play before delving into it, since using the wrong tools can be dangerous. Beginners shouldn't use intense-shocking tools like tasers, Queen warns. One beginner-friendly tool McDevitt recommends is a controlled sex toy that allows you to combine the familiar pleasurable sensation of vibration with electrostimulation, like the CalExotics Impulse Intimate E-Stimulator Dual Wand.
Tools like these offer several levels of electrostimulation that are safe for partners just introducing electrostimulation to their relationships. While you might think of these practices as purely sexual, they're not. Many sexual kinks and fetishes can fall under the umbrella of scene play, explains Queen, since many people in the BDSM community center their kinky activities within a scene.
Those involved in scene play often negotiate what their desires and limits are or use ifying titles such as 'mistress or sir. The scene often ends when both partners are satisfied, someone freaky fetishes a safe word or they're simply out of time. Consensual voyeurism involves consensually observing others undress, have sex or engage in other sexual acts.
This isn't to be confused with spying on people without their consent, which is definitely inappropriate, not to mention illegal. Instead, in this scenario the person you're observing should enjoy being watched and may even be putting on a show. Queen adds that consensual voyeurism can also typically take place at a swingers party or play party—parties where people participate in BDSM activities.
Sadism is typically defined as arousal at the thought of causing pain, but not just any kind of pain, explains Queen. It's not comparable to enjoying menstrual cramps [since, literally nobody likes that! Kink community people tend to like the term 'intense sensation' better, since when someone is engaged in being spanked or whipped, pinched or pierced, or whatever may be going on, their experience may be vastly different from feeling pain in other contexts. If someone is into sadism, it's best they look for a partner who's a masochist, in other words, who freaky fetishes receiving the pain.
Remember that 30 Rock episode where Liz Lemon hires a woman for her writers' room who presents freaky fetishes a "very sexy baby? Second, for those of you getting revved up at the thought of an attractive adult infant, I have one word: autoenpiophilia. Otherwise known as paraphilic infantilism, this one describes someone who derives sexual pleasure from dressing up as, or acting like, a baby. Autoenpipohiles might also take great interest in a baby bottle, potentially filled with real breast milk—and that can be a fetish, too. In that same vein, let's all turn our attention back to freaky fetishes Sex and the City episode wherein Carrie kink-shames her politician boyfriend played by John Slattery who enjoys having people pee on him.
That's urophilia, Lehmiller says, or a fetish for "people who are sexually aroused by being urinated on, also colloquially known as 'water sports. There may be a BDSM element at work here, too, Lehmiller notes: The person getting peed on is clearly submissive to the other, and having someone's pee drip down your body might also evoke some feelings of humiliation.
Lehmiller defines necrophilia as "being sexually aroused by having sexual contact with a corpse," a sexual interest with which viewers of 's fashion horror film, The Neon Demonmight be familiar. Recall the scene in which a morgue makeup artist has sex with the dead body on her table. Again, though, there may also be an extreme BDSM aspect tied up in necrophilia: Sometimes, Lehmiller explains, arousal flows from the fact that a corpse can't fight back or consent to sexual activity.
Necrophiliacs might hire a sex worker to lie inert during intercourse, safely mimicking a dead body, or explore the world of freezable sex toys deed to simulate the experience of sex with the dead or undead, as the case may be, since some of these products have zombie or vampire themes. Vorarephilia is often shortened to "vore," and can also entail fantasies about eating someone or watching someone being eaten, chewed, or swallowed whole. This cannibalism-influenced sexual interest involves getting eaten alive—"usually being consumed whole and live by a much larger person or creature," Lehmiller explains.
People might indulge this niche inclination through role play, or through watching simulated live-action or animated vore porn, an increasingly popular adult subgenre. Macrophilia—"sexual attraction to giants or giantesses," according to Lehmiller—also represents a growing sector of the porn industry. Particularly arousing niches within this sexual interest include: being squished against a giant's breasts, being crushed by a giant, being dominated by a giant, or being physically harmed by a giant.
All of which seem pretty plausible in a giant-on-regular-sized-human sex scenario. Though some macrophiles may be attracted to people that are just a few feet taller than them, macrophila is really about imagination. Macrophiles tend to find pleasure from consuming this kind of content.
Although it's extremely rare, Lehmiller says, emetophilia—or attraction to vomit—is real. This can mean you're attracted to your own vomit or someone else's; turned on by watching and listening to the vomit, or freaky fetishes the vomiting yourself. There's only been one major scientific investigation into "erotic vomiting," in Which is to say, knowledge on emetophilia is scant, but the themes of dominance, submission, and humiliation are self-evident within this fetish. Consider Malcolm Brenner, a man whose name you may know thanks to the intimately chronicled romantic relationship he says he sustained with a dolphin, back in the s.
Their freaky fetishes which also was briefly sexual all took place at a theme park in Florida, and was allegedly "dolphin-initiated". This man would be classified as a zoophile, or someone who derives sexual arousal from animals. Isn't this just bestiality? Not quite. Zoophilia relies on emotional investment and, often, the idea that a human-animal relationship is mutually loving.
Considered by some to be a subset of zoophilia, according to Lehmiller, formicophilia involves arousal "dependent upon small insects or creatures crawling on the body, especially the genital area, sometimes biting or stinging in the process. Lehmiller says he hasn't seen too much research into formicohpilia, but what's available has mentioned ants, cockroaches, snails, and bees as possible sources of erotic pleasure.
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