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In basic terms, cuckolding is a fetish or kink in which a person gets turned on by their partner having sex with someone else. Historically, the term cuckold refers to a man who was unknowingly cheated on by his wife. Apparently — though pinning down specific s is tricky given the delicate nature of the topic. Like any kink, there are several possible variables at play, including biological and social factors. The reasons behind the enjoyment vary between the roles, too. Psychologists have suggested a of reasons why someone may be turned on by their partner having sex with someone else.
In these scenarios, some research suggests that watching your partner with another man prompts a biological response to have longer and more vigorous sex. Knowing someone else wants your partner can kick your desire into overdrive and make you want them more than a fresh-from-the-oven Krispy Kreme.
Sexual jealousy can be intense, motivating, and pretty arousing. Some researchers think that jealousy is also a part of what fuels sperm competition and gets a male ready to fight for the fertilization win. In the world of cuckolding, the happy feels come from seeing your partner being sexually satisfied by another.
Humiliation seems to play a leading role in cuckolding. It comes from the ridicule a person is likely to feel when their partner cheats on them. For some, humiliation ramps up the erotic intensity of the act by a bazillion. This can come from watching their partner with someone else, or some extra humiliation thrown in for good measure, like being laughed at or belittled by their partner and the bull.
The pleasure comes from giving up that power of sexually pleasing your partner over to someone else. Not only is there the obvious physical pleasure you get from engaging in sexual acts with the bull, but the sex gets better between you and your partner, too. What little research is available on cuckolding shows that both partners report having hotter sex with each other. Also, cuckoldresses report feeling more sexually satisfied.
The consensus is that the majority of couples that partake in cuckolding tend to have excellent communication and intimacy. The willingness to share your deep desires encourages intimacy and brings you closer. The main draw here is getting to have no-strings-attached sex with someone who is eager and willing.
Have them tell you about other people they fantasize about having sex with or the juicy details of past sexual encounters. Too vanilla? Suggest your partner get a sensual massage from someone else while you watch to test the waters. Along with watching your partner get busy with someone else, talk about the option of participating in the act. Your role can be as big or small as all parties are cool with, like directing the bull and telling them what to do to your partner or actually getting in there for a threesome. Instead of humiliation, hotwifing seems to center on pride.
The partner is proud of having a hot-to-trot partner and her sexual adventures, and happy to share.
Being honest about your desires and sharing that the idea of inviting someone else into your sex life takes some serious courage. You owe it to your partner to hear them out without any judgment. Your partner may just enjoy the cuckold fantasy or be interested in bringing the fantasy to life.
Asking questions gets you the information you need while also showing them that they can be open with you. Cuckolding requires that you have all the information you need and take time to really consider how you feel.
Let them know that you need time to think about it. Sharing an article or video on cuckolding may help them understand why people do it. You should also be able to offer examples of how you might go about it. You both need to consent and be comfortable for cuckolding to work. Before starting your search for your bull, you should probably sit down together and decide:. The internet is your best friend here. Sexual contact always carries physical risks like sexually transmitted infections STIs and pregnancy.
Practice safer sex by using condoms and other barrier methods during any type of sexual contact, including oral sex. Emotional risk is something else to consider. One person may decide they want to stop, the cuck may begin to experience more jealousy than they bargained for, or one or both of the people hooking up could become too attached. Cuckolding requires complete honesty from everyone involved every step of the way. If anyone is uncomfortable or unsure, or if anything feels off, stop.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. One in five friends have tried kinky sex. Plus, science shows there may be benefits to experimenting in the bedroom — are you ready?
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How do you find your bull of choice? How do you practice cucking responsibly? Are there any risks to consider? Where can you learn more? Read this next.
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Everything You Need to Know About Cuckolding