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The act of ejaculating is more or less guaranteed to be a messy one. That means you have to deal with a literal semen explosion pretty much every time you orgasm. Meaning, the question of ejaculation etiquette arises — where is it OK to ejaculate? How can you talk about this with your partner? If your sexual partner has a uterus, you should absolutely, positively, under no circumstances ejaculate inside them during vaginal intercourse without their consent.
Mackenzie Riel of TooTimid. Letting your partner know in advance is a basic of respect and politeness, adds Riel. When you're just hooking up with people, it can be especially dangerous, considering the risk of pregnancy.
Consent must be fluid and ongoing throughout the process of intercourse. How do you avoid the nightmare scenario of accidentally getting your partner pregnant or violating their consent? You talk about it in advance. Meaning, not five seconds before you cum, but ideally before you even get naked.
If you are the ejaculator, it's just polite to check with your partner beforehand to see if they have any strong preferences, and to state your own. Need an example for context? Would you like that or be interested in that? Politeness and etiquette is a good rule of thumb in general here.
Remember that thing about consent being fluid and ongoing throughout the process of having sex from rule No. Fact is, your partner is still allowed to change their mind at the last minute. They can decide they want you to cum on their stomach instead of their face, or on their back instead of inside them.
For example, during oral sex, if you feel like you're about to cum, state this with some headway, so that if your partner does not want you to cum in their mouth they can pull away and say so. Anywhere on the face is especially important, as you don't want to blind them or get it up their nose. If you want to do so smoothly, you could always pull out and try to make them orgasm via sex toy or your fingers.
At that point, the mature thing to do is to discuss what just happened, says Play.
If there's no malicious intent, just express where you're at and take responsibility where you can. And if you ejaculated before you wanted to? This can allow for both parties to enjoy the sex. At the end of the day, while ejaculating can make a mess, talking about it with your partner — before, during, and after sex — can make for a much less messy situation.
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